Therein lies the problem, she keeps vacillating on acceptance and denial. We can talk about 'it' but that is about as far as it goes. I wanted to go to SCC in Atlanta next month and she gave tentative approval, but wasn't happy about the trip. When I found out how expensive it would be with airfare, lodging, and registration I put the trip aside. She has joined me at several therapy sessions which have gone well (it's a long drive home if in silence). At my last session 'J' asked if Ms C is going to see another therapist that she had recommended. It would be good for her to see someone and work through her issues as I am doing. I set up an appointment for my wife and she cancelled at the last minute, doesn't think that it will help. I've been complimented by 'J' on how far I've grown in this past year while MS C hasn't moved any further than knowing her husband is transgender. Can you tell I'm frustrated? During the past year I have had my ears pierced and I wear small hoop earrings all the time, my brows are shaped and trimmed, I file my nails and wear clear polish, and I carry a 'purse'; all of which she is not happy with but we're still together. Am I sliding down that 'slippery slope' that Karen wrote of in Shouting Down the Well or is Eleanor just learning how to live? I do feel a need to get out as Eleanor with Ms C's knowledge though. Again, something that she's not happy with.
On another note we had a good anniversary weekend, we went Saturday AM to a local 'green market' which is on the waterfront of the Indian River Lagoon (yes, the grapefruit brand), stopped in a tiki bar for beers and an appetizer of grouper fingers, and then went out for a lovely dinner of coconut shrimp, fillet mignon, and salad. We finished off our weekend with the beach on Sunday followed by a Cuban dinner (I cooked as usual) and a DVD called Whip It.
Here is the recipe for Cuban Salad Dressing that I found in a cookbook called, Three Guys from Miami Cook Cuban:
1 part olive oil
1 part white vinegar
1 part sugar
1 part orange juice
salt and pepper
Mix all ingredients together and shake well. It stores well in the refrigerator and is good on all types of green salads.
Hugs, Elly
1 comment:
What constitutes true acceptance? Is acceptance simply saying I sympathize with your Gender Identity Dysphoria, then still expecting you to remain exactly as they've always known you, with no compromises made for who you truly are, and the suffering you go through, or does true acceptance mean making some personal sacrifices to accommodate your special needs? And if accommodations to your needs are not being made by your helpmate, are you supposed to just lump it, and go back into the closet? These are questions that you and your wife have to work out.
Melissa XX
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